So I find out today if I leave for Flight School in seven weeks.

Seven weeks is not very long.

And yet it is longer than the four weeks that yesterday I had been asked if I could be ready to go by.

So an additional three weeks is good.

I'm scared, I'm excited... 

Alabama.  That is only two time zones away instead of three.  Trying to put a positive spin on it.  I'm going to be there for possibly up to two years... That is what we are planning on.  Some people get thru it in as little as fourteen months, but I don't think they will have the incentive to push me thru that quickly...  so I'll be lucky if its much less than two years.

I don't WANT to leave home, but its funny...  On Sunday night I sat down to watch TV and John McArthur was on, from Grace To You.  He talked about how the true follers of Christ forsake all to follow him.  How they leave all the worldly priorities and aspiritions behind and replace them with Godly priorities and aspiritions.  He showed how some times this "leaving of everything behind" sometimes involves actually leaving a spouse or child or parents or home or belongings etc....  Just like the diciples did. 

I have tried in everything I do to follow God.  I pray, I pray, I talk to Godly people, and I follow the path that gets laid out in front of me.  Thru out all of my husbands and my mulling over joining the Army, mulling over what job to pick, mulling over whether to be a pilot or not.... thru out all of it I have prayed, "show me which way you want me to go." and He does, over and over.  The doors open.  the paths are layed out.  and when a door is shut, or slammed, then if the handle won't turn he opens a window.  or has me climb out the chimney.  or just takes the house down around me and lets me walk over the destroyed walls.

I pray, "Lord, I think this is the path you want me to take.  I am understanding you to say that you want me to do this.  BUT.  If I am wrong, if I have misunderstood you, please make it VERY clear.  I am going to continue down this path that I THINK you want me to take, but if it is the wrong one, place a BLOCKADE in the way and don't let it be overcome.  HOWEVER, I understand that often in the Christian walk, ADVERSITY is just the Enemy trying to destroy YOUR plans.  If the adversity I face if the Enemy, PLEASE help me to OVERCOME.  Amen."

And the roads I'm not supposed to go down I end up not going down, and the ones that look like they are closed end up being open, and open wide.

That is how I ended up here, on the 11th of Feburary sitting at the computer, waiting for the phone to ring.  Waiting for the word about if I go to Flight School NOW or LATER.

My stomach is tense, I'm actually nervous.  I have done things in the past that are hard.  I have done physcially difficult things, I have done emotionally difficult things, and I have done intellectually difficult things.

Flight School will challange ALL those areas of me.  Physically there will be parts that are difficult, mentally I'll have to be stronger than I've ever had to be, and emotionally I'll have to keep myself together and do my job while being thousands and thousands of miles away from the love of my life, my best friend, my comrade, my battle buddy, my motivation......  my husband.

for maybe two years.

Don't get me wrong, I'm totally good with the fact that Jesus does not give us more than we can handle (with his help, of course.)  He gives us desires and passions that match with his plans for our life.  I vowed when I was in HS that I would get my pilots license before I was 30 years old.  I just always figured it would be a civilian private cessna lisence.  Not Army Wings.  But I look back at my life, how I was when I was young and small, the types of things that intersted me when I was young and medium, and the ways God led me when I was young and big and it all fits together.  The plan of my life is unfolding in amazing ways I NEVER could have imagined when growing up.

I always figured I'd grow up, get married, have a couple kids....  and.......?  and what?  I don't know.  First I wanted to be Veteranarian, then I wanted to have my own mail order catalog business....  The American Civil War, the 1800's military was always my PASSION.  I ALWAYS WANTED to do something with that.  and if I could incoporate my beloved equine friend into that equation all the better.  I never had the overwhelming desire or passion to be a Mom, it was just assumed and expected that I'd get married and have a couple kids 'cause thats what you do.  I thought it'd be fun to be the young cool Mom, the one whose house all the kids wanted to come hang out at.  But that was just kinda a side thought.  (And there is no reason in the world why that may not still happen.  I have wonderful kids in my life now and maybe someday there will be more...?)

I have to follow what God wants me to do.  And the adventure that he is leading me on is far greater than I could have dreamed up myself. 

I read lots and lots and lots of Lous L'Amour (Western's) stories when I was in Middle School.  I always admired the strong Men who would stand up for Right, for Justice, for the Little Guy.  The Hero's who Bucked the Odds and Won against logical conclusions.  I LOVED Lord of the Rings because of who Frodo was... he set out on a path that was given to him by one who was wise and could see the big picture and against the advise and expectations of his family, his friends, the communities around him he continued and prevailed.  He had one friend who walked with him the whole way.  Everyone else had to go their seperate ways.

I see how Frodo never quit, he knew that he had to take on the pain, the hurts, the horrors of Mordor so that the horrors of Mordor would not come out to the rest of the world.  He knew that if he didn't acomplish his mission EVERYONE would suffer.

Now I know that me going to Flight School is not quite the same catagory of adventure, in fact it's quite different, but what is not different is the idea of following God's path as he lays it out for you in spite of the obstilces that are set in your way, the impossibility of completion, and the aloneness that often acompanies doing the right thing.

The military was always interesting to me, I studied the American Civil War and the mid-19th Century Military a lot.  And God took all of my interests and passions and turned them into their own adventure, made just for me.

The interest in adventures, in characters who never quit, the desire to follow God, the interest in the Military, in History, my horses............   Modern Army Helicopters took the place of the Military Horses of the Past.

So Flight School is going to be an adventure.

I don't know how to end this post.  So I'll just say,

Cheerio.  

I just had a major change of how I can plan the future.  But I don't want to talk about it right now.

Here's to the unexpected!

Happy January 19th!

Happy MLK day!

Happy Day Before Obama is Inagurated Day!

Happy Monday!

Happy Day after Sunday!

Woot Woot!